HBO’s hit series, The Sopranos, took the landscape of television by storm with a string of memorable characters and unforgettable performances by an epic lineup of stars including James Gandolfini, Michael Imperioli, and Edie Falco. Even decades after originally premiering, The Sopranos remains a beloved series around the world and is celebrated by its millions of fans, which continues to rise in numbers today. There’s an endless list of notable characters, such as Paulie Walnuts, played by Tony Sirico, and Steven Van Zandt as Silvio Dante, but one character who is a favorite almost across the board for many is Corrado “Junior” Soprano.
Best known for his role as Johnny Ola in The Godfather Part II, Dominic Chianese stars as Tony Soprano’s uncle, Junior, who is a fundamental character to the series in more ways than one and, at times, is a surprising source of insightful wisdom and humor. Out of all the characters, Junior has some of the best quotes and one-liners, such as “You yap worse than six barbers!” and “Go sh*t in your hat!”, which have become common phrases and go-to lines for dozens of die-hard Sopranos fans.
The Sopranos
- Release Date
- January 10, 1999
- Creator
- David Chase
- Seasons
- 6
- Studio
- HBO
15 “You tell me to take a crap on the Queen Mary, an hour later they’ll be hosing it off with disinfectant.”
“Second Opinion” – Season 3, Episode 7
After Junior has a tumor removed, he visits his surgeon, Dr. Kennedy (Sam McMurray) for a follow-up appointment and learns that he didn’t get all of the cancerous tissue out and wants to operate again. Despite the risks Junior faces of going under the knife again, he agrees with Kennedy without hesitation and cheerfully signs documentation to undergo another procedure. Junior’s upbeat attitude is mainly due to him having complete faith in Kennedy but is unaware that the surgeon made an error in judgment that could have avoided another operation.
Junior expresses his confidence in Kennedy with a rather hilarious quote which is expected from someone like Junior who is a master wordsmith. Instead of asking questions or asking for further details, Junior is more concerned about making sure his doctor knows how he feels about him and seems a bit oblivious to the severity of the situation. Despite Junior’s lack of concern, his words of misguided confidence in his self-centered, incompetent doctor are one of the character’s funniest one-liners in the series.
14 “I wanna f**k Angie Dickinson, let’s see who gets lucky first.”
“I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano” – Season 1, Episode 13
When Junior is arrested by federal agents, he meets with an agent who offers him a lesser sentence if he agrees to testify against Tony and say that he is in fact the boss of the DiMeo crime family. As the agent tries several times to convince Junior to take the deal, the old-school mafioso replies with an array of fancy ways to say no but his line about classic film star, Angie Dickinson, is by far the best one.
In Season 1, episode 13, “I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano,” Junior is steadfast in remaining quiet, and despite his and his nephew’s recent dispute, he refuses to rat on Tony. Junior is cut from a cloth that no longer exists and tries to appear unphased by his recent arrest with his sarcastic lines and humorous puns. Even under immense pressure, Junior never loses his classic sense of humor and his line about Dickinson is one of his finest quotes in The Sopranos.
13 “All I know is you never had the makings of a varsity athlete.”
“Where’s Johnny?” – Season 5, Episode 3
In Season 5, episode 3, “Where’s Johnny?” Junior and Tony go over to Bobby (Steve Schirripa) and Janice’s (Aida Turturro) house for Sunday dinner and football. Once they finally all sit down at the table, Bobby asks AJ (Robert Iler) about his football team which somehow leads to Junior commenting on how Tony never had the skills or strength to make varsity. Tony tries to tell his uncle to knock it off, expressing how he once told that to Janice and their cousin when they were younger but Tony is unaware that Junior’s dementia is getting worse.
While the scene isn’t a laughing matter, there is something comical about Junior’s comment getting under Tony’s skin, which puts him in a rather immature light. It has been years since Tony was in high school and to still get defensive over his football career is, well, pretty funny. Junior’s utter confusion about his nephew’s outrage also adds to the dark humor of the moment, and despite it being an indication of Junior’s mental deterioration, the quote has become a fan favorite among Soprano fans.
12 “She’s like a woman with a Virginia ham under her arms, crying the blues because she got no bread.”
“The Happy Wanderer” – Season 2, Episode 6
When Junior is put on house arrest, he agrees to meet with Tony at his doctor’s office, and while Junior talks about how much Tony’s father, Johnny, made from their annual executive card game, Tony doesn’t believe his uncle. Tony is under the impression that his father left his family nothing put petty pocket change but Junior dishes out a one-of-a-kind response that puts things into perspective for his nephew.
Junior always manages to come up with these animated lines that make him such a unique and vital character in The Sopranos. Serving as a symbol of the former traditional gangsters, Junior is never short of words and his description of Livia basically sitting on a gold mine is one for the books. Between Tony’s dumbstruck reaction to Junior’s cheeky delivery of the clever quote, it is definitely one of Junior’s all-time best quotes in The Sopranos.
11 “If she fell into a sewer pipe, she’s come up holding two gold watches in both hands.”
“House Arrest” – Season 2, Episode 11
After slipping in the shower and breaking his hip, Junior is taken to the hospital and undergoes surgery, causing him to stay for several days. Shortly before he’s released, he’s recognized by a former classmate, Catherine Romano (Mary Louise Wilson), who informs Junior that her husband has passed away, and while both could use some company, Junior decides to give her a call one day.
In Season 2, episode 11, “House Arrest,” the subject of Livia Soprano (Nancy Marchand) comes up during Junior and Catherine’s conversation. While Catherine tries to be polite, Junior expresses his true feelings about his intolerant sister-in-law, which paints a humorous portrait of Livia in viewers’ minds. As Catherine sympathizes with Livia’s so-called “poor existence,” Junior quickly replies with one of the character’s quickest quips in the series, dubbing it as one of the character’s best quotes.
10 “Next time come back heavy, or don’t come back at all.”
“Meadowlands”- Season 1, Episode 4
When Tony learns that Junior took action against Christopher (Michael Imperioli) and Brendan (Anthony DeSando) for hijacking another truck, he decides to confront his uncle straight on and hopefully avoid an all-out war between them. After giving Mikey (Al Sapienza) a custom tailoring job with a staple gun, he finds Junior enjoying his lunch with a few associates and gets right to the point. The two have a slightly heated discussion and before Tony leaves, Junior warns his nephew about coming in heavy next time or to not bother coming back at all.
In Season 1, episode 4, “Meadowlands,” Tony takes a page of advice from one of The Sopranos‘ best female characters, Dr. Melfi (Lorraine Bracco) and gives his uncle the illusion that he’s in charge while Tony continues to run things behind his back. Junior is classic old school and when Tony goes to leave, he gives his nephew some words of wisdom which reminds him that just because they’re family, it doesn’t mean that Junior is willing to stand idly by and let certain things slide.
9 “You yap worse than six barbers.”
“Boca” – Season 1, Episode 9
During a round of golf, Tony and Silvio Dante (Steven Van Zandt) talk among themselves while Mikey tees off, but when their conversation becomes a distraction, Mikey tells them to knock it off. Of course, they don’t listen, and this time Junior chimes in with a classic line that speaks to his clever wit. Instead of telling the guys to shut their mouths or be quiet, Junior sums the request up with a short and comical one-liner.
Junior always has a unique way of getting his message across and in Season 1, episode 9, “Boca,” he doesn’t hesitate with this iconic line. Most could easily tell someone to shut up, but Junior likes to add a little bit of zest to his warnings and referring to Tony and Silvio as basically loudmouth barbers, but unfortunately, this doesn’t sit too well with Tony, who starts pestering his uncle with minor comments that eventually come back to bite him.
8 “You steer the ship the best you know. Sometimes it’s smooth, sometimes you hit the rocks. In the meantime, you find your pleasures where you can.”
“House Arrest” – Season 2, Episode 11
As tension continues to rise between Tony and Ralph Cifaretto (Joe Pantoliano), Tony seeks advice from Junior about the situation and what he thinks is the best course of action. Tony trusts his uncle’s judgment, but he isn’t prepared for what he has to say, which is that Tony basically screwed up by passing Ralphie over as Capo and shouldn’t have let his personal feelings get in the way of his decision. While this doesn’t ease Tony’s frustration, Junior does leave him with some insightful wisdom about life as the boss that brings a little bit of comfort to his nephew.
Uncle Junior has a lot of humorous lines and moments, but in Season 2, episode 11, “House Arrest,” he actually gives Tony some worldly advice that many fans consider to be one of his best quotes. Basically, Junior tells Tony that he can only do the best he knows how to, and it isn’t worth stressing over what he could or could’ve done and, instead, he should just try to make the best of the situation.
7 “Some people are so far behind in the race that they actually believe they’re leading.”
“The Happy Wanderer” – Season 2, Episode 6
In Season 2, episode 6, “The Happy Wanderer,” Tony and Junior secretly meet to discuss new business arrangements as well as the upcoming Executive card game. Considering past events, Tony thinks he’s finally in a good spot with the business and officially one-upped his uncle by narrowly escaping his assassination attempt and the Federal government, but during his obnoxious gloating, Junior advises Tony to not get too ahead of himself and that there’s still plenty of information that he isn’t aware of just yet.
Tony can’t help himself and slightly rubs his uncle’s situation in his face and is caught up in the financial benefits that are about to come his way. Even though Tony has the right to stick it to Junior a little bit, he lets his ego get the better of him and to bring him down a notch, Junior delivers a subtle, but iconic Sopranos line reminding his arrogant nephew not to get too ahead of himself and think that he’s finally in the lead of this thing.
6 “Yeah, and I’m playing shortstop for the Mets.”
“Pax Soprana” – Season 1, Episode 6
When Tony moves his mother Livia to the Green Grove retirement community, she refuses to forgive her son and thinks he has abandoned her. In Tony’s defense, Green Grove isn’t that bad and even though Livia appears to be getting along just fine, she continues to hold a grudge against him and takes advantage of any opportunity to get back at him. When Junior comes to visit one day, Livia vaguely expresses her disdain for Tony and after suggesting that Junior put a tax on Tony’s friend, Hesh Rabkin (Jerry Adler), Junior catches on and calls her out with a comical one-liner.
Livia and Junior always seem to talk in code, but in Season 1, episode 6, “Pax Soprana,” Junior knows that his sister-in-law is still fuming over Tony’s decision and boldly lets her know that he’s on to her and her true motivation behind suggesting that he put a tax on Heshy. Of course, Livia denies it, so Junior hits back with a witty, sarcastic line that tells her even though he’s not buying anything she’s selling, he knows what she’s up to with her hidden agenda and decides to humor her.
5 “Go s**t in your hat.”
“Where’s Johnny?” – Season 5, Episode 3
At this point, it’s clear that Junior is suffering from dementia and even though it’s getting worse, Tony and the rest of his family try to rationalize it as simply old age. When Bobby goes to visit Junior, he realizes that Junior has wandered away from the house and, unbeknownst to Bobby, he is trying to get to Bloomfield Avenue where Tony’s father, Johnny Boy, used to hang out. While Bobby notifies Tony and tries to look for Junior, the police arrive with him later that evening, and he isn’t too pleased about being escorted home.
Junior’s dementia leads him into a scary but also humorous situation in Season 5, episode 3, “Where’s Johnny?” Only Junior could be losing his mind and still make wisecracks and sarcastic remarks like the one he says to the police officers who were kind enough to bring him home instead of downtown. The line comes out of nowhere, giving the notion to audiences that even though Junior’s mind is starting to slip, his sarcasm and wit are still sharp as a cue ball.
4 “Who’s that speaking? Is somebody speaking?”
“The Knight in White Satin Armor” – Season 2, Episode 12
After Richie Aprile (David Proval) fails to gain Albert Barese’s (Richard Maldone) support to clip Tony, he and his nephew, Jackie Jr. (Jason Cerbone) visit him to give him the bad news. While Richie tries to convince Junior to still let him make a move against Tony, Jackie chimes in to try and strengthen his uncle’s argument but instead, Junior busts his balls with a hysterical remark that nicely tells him to butt out.
Before his shocking death on The Sopranos, Jackie Jr. tries multiple times to prove himself to Tony and the guys, and in Season 2, episode 12, “The Knight in White Satin Armor,” Junior puts him in his place in a hilarious manner that also lightens the intense conversation. Instead of coming straight out and telling Jackie to stay out of the conversation, Junior’s line is essentially intended to mock Jackie and to hopefully get the message across to him that he should never try and put his two cents into a business conversation again, especially any involving Junior.
3 “What you don’t know could fill a book.”
“House Arrest” – Season 2, Episode 11
When word about Junior spending time with Catherine Romano reaches Livia, she phones him pretending to be calling about something else but she soon reveals her true intentions for the call. As she starts to put her two cents in about Catherine and giving her cruel and misinformed opinion about the woman, Junior refuses to allow Livia to ruin the one good thing in his life and hangs up on her.
When Livia calls Junior in Season 2, episode 11, “House Arrest,” she doesn’t hesitate to tell Junior how she really feels about Catherine, and being the polite man that he is, Junior basically tells her to mind her own business. It’s obvious that Livia wasn’t expecting that kind of response from her brother-in-law, but Junior doesn’t tolerate gossip, especially if it involves him and personal matters which he prefers to keep to himself.
2 “You may run North Jersey, but you don’t run your Uncle Junior!”
“Pilot” – Season 1, Episode 1
In the show’s first episode, Tony learns that Uncle Junior is planning on whacking Gennaro “Little Pussy” Malanga at his friend, Artie Bucco’s (John Ventimiglia) restaurant. Tony doesn’t want to tell his uncle what to do, but for the sake of Artie and his restaurant’s reputation, he tries to plead with Junior to take Little Pussy out somewhere else. Despite suggesting several other possible scenarios, Junior finally gets fed up with his nephew and reminds him that he isn’t going to boss him around.
Tony and Junior have a tricky relationship that can be both an advantage and a disadvantage for them when it comes to their business. Even though the guys say their business family comes before their other family, Tony sometimes thinks it does and Junior knows that if they didn’t share the same family tree, Tony would never have asked him to clip Little Pussy somewhere else. Junior points this out to Tony with this powerful line that serves also as a reminder to Tony that he can run his crew how he wants, but Junior is his own man who makes his own decisions.
1 “Take it easy! We’re not making a Western here.”
“Denial, Acceptance, and Anger” – Season 1, Episode 3
When Christopher and Brendan return Junior’s truck in Season 1, episode 3, “Denial, Acceptance, and Anger,” he sits down with his underboss and one of The Sopranos‘ most evil characters, Mikey Palmice, to discuss the best course of action as punishment. While Junior is upset, he isn’t thinking about fitting anyone for cement shoes like Mikey, who is ready to go out blazing with guns drawn, setting the stage for Junior to deliver one of his best lines of the entire series.
Junior’s line, “Take it easy! We’re not making a Western here,’ is not only one of the character’s top-notch quotes, it’s also one of the most iconic in the show. The line correlates perfectly with Mikey’s rebellious and impulsive tone, which is similar to most cowboys and gunslingers featured in classic Westerns, and while Junior is serious about Mikey taking it down a peg, it’s also a great line that gets his message across with a guaranteed laugh from audiences.