It’s easy to imagine David Cronenberg‘s Flashdance. The story of an 18-year-old exotic dancer with a welding nozzle grafted to her arm who competes for entry into a secret society attempting to force evolution through erotic “flash dances” wasn’t meant for this world. Still, we could spend all day imagining how Irene Cara’s Oscar-winning single would fit into the tragedy of a bionic welding generator turned breakdancing messiah who repeats the oft-uttered mantra “Being’s believin’.” Conversely, “Maniac” would take considerably less imagination. Alas, it was never meant to be. Although Cronenberg was offered the movie, he turned down Jerry Bruckheimer because, understandably, he would’ve destroyed the movie.
Speaking at the Marrakech Film Festival today (per Variety), Cronenberg shocked attendees by recalling how Flashdance producers Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer “were totally convinced that I was the right one to direct” Flashdance. “Really, I don’t know why [they] thought I should do it,” Cronenberg admits. However, he clearly understood why he shouldn’t: “I had to say no. I said to them, ‘I will destroy your movie if I direct it!’”
It’s for the best. The year Flashdance came out, Cronenberg released two of his most beloved films: Videodrome and The Dead Zone. As fun as it would’ve been to see Jennifer Beales insert a video cassette of Cara’s “Flashdance What A Feeling” music video into her stomach, it was not a future anyone could see with the power of second sight. Instead, the movie went to another director who would become better known for psycho-sexual thrillers than MTV-infused dance musicals: Adrian Lyne. What a feelin’.