You ever hear someone say “Bless your heart,” to someone who just did something dumb, s***ty, or “non-Christian?” The latter is a wide umbrella. The phrase can be deployed by someone genuinely. I suppose, statistically, that has to happen. But I’m talking about the backhanded way of saying it. The kind that comes with a smile while making it clear that, despite the sentiment one may expect from the phrase, the user means the opposite. That’s some good old-fashioned religious condescension.
It’s a fantastic balancing act. When someone says it, they express that the receiver needs to be blessed (a bad sign) and that the person saying it is above reproach! Look at them, out among the lowly and unwashed, dishing out blessings to a common sinner! Surely they have not committed such acts! They are but an angel waiting to be reunited with their wings! But it’s not just Holier Than Thou types who use it (or variations). Some folks just need to be a little petty (don’t we all).
That certainly seems to be the case with Denzel Washington. Before we go any further, let me make it clear that Denzel Washington can be petty if he wants to. The man has earned that and then some. This piece is not an indictment of his pettiness as it is me being in awe of his ability to be petty. He makes anything look good, so of course, he can make petty look good, too. In this case, it’s all about who you choose to target and Denzel chose well.
Denzel spoke to Esquire magazine and his losing an Academy Award in 2000 came up. He lost it to Kevin Spacey. “At the Oscars, they called Kevin Spacey’s name for American Beauty,” Washington explained. “I have a memory of turning around and looking at him, and nobody was standing but the people around him. And everyone else was looking at me. Not that it was this way. Maybe that’s the way I perceived it. Maybe I felt like everybody was looking at me. Because why would everybody be looking at me? Thinking about it now, I don’t think they were.”
Harmless enough. Aside from Denzel’s slight dig about no one standing except the people around Spacey, Denzel played nice, and then he went in for the kill. “I’m sure I went home and drank that night. I had to,” Washington said to the outlet. “I don’t want to sound like, ‘Oh, he won my Oscar,’ or anything like that. It wasn’t like that. And you know, there was talk in the town about what was going on over there on that side of the street, and that’s between him and God. I ain’t got nothing to do with that. I pray for him. That’s between him and his maker.” There it is!
Denzel didn’t have to say any of that. It’s also delicious coming immediately after him making it clear that he wasn’t angry. Spacey’s long and disgusting history of assault allegations did not need to be brought up, but Denzel doing it is so goddamn funny. It is giving big “I’m not mad, please don’t put in the paper that I got mad” vibes. But Denzel is not dril. He is actually someone who I think can play the Holier Than Thou card and most people will just be like “Yeah.”
Denzel eventually gets his Oscar and is plenty self-deprecating as he describes giving himself a “pity party” until he wins the prize. Now, he does whatever the hell he wants. He’s helping his sons make movies, possibly doling out spoilers for Black Panther 3, and absolutely roasting Kevin Spacey in a very public forum. We should all be so blessed.