The election results continue to take center-stage on “Saturday Night Live,” as this week’s cold open featured Dana Carvey as Joe Biden and James Austin Johnson as Donald Trump in a sketch that drew from the pair’s recent meeting at the White House. Sitting in front of a crackling fireplace near a bouquet of roses, the pair unpacked Trump’s confounding cabinet picks, including Matt Gaetz for attorney general and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to head the health and human services department.
“Hello everybody, thank you everybody for coming to this very important transitional meeting,” said Carvey as Biden. “I’m being serious right now! Even though we disagree, we’re going to have a very respectful conversation.”
“Yeah, get a load of me,” said Johnson as Trump. “Instead of being loud and crazy like usual, I’m doing quiet and serene, which in many ways is a lot scarier.”
“I’m gonna sit here and smile while ignoring the giant fire right behind me,” said Carvey, then referencing the popular meme with a dog surrounded by burning flames, saying, “This is fine.”
Carvey, as Biden said, the pair would ask the press to leave to “talk details” about the transition of power from President Biden to Trump. “Just two boomers here talkin’ about nukes,” said Carvey. “
As members of the press were ushered out of the room, a White House official added, “Thank you, everyone, you can scream your questions on the way out.” Someone shouted, “What’s gonna happen?” And another added, “Should I move to Canada?”
Johnson’s Trump expressed his reluctance to take the Presidential office again, saying that he “loves running, hate doing.” He then complained about the state of the White House, comparing the carpets to a Regal Cinema. “Now I have to live here for the next four years.”
Carvey as Biden recalled all the magical years he spent in the White House, adding, “I brought my party together so much that they teamed up and kicked me out.”
“I can’t go back to Mar-a-Lago, Joe” said Trump. “Elon is there, and he will not leave. It’s like ‘What About Bob?’ over there. He’s walking around showing me videos about rockets and monkeys with computers in their heads. This guy is cringe A-F,” added Johnson.
Referencing the deluge of Trump’s mind-boggling cabinet picks this past week, Johnson as Trump said, “I am very fastly picking the most epic cabinet of all time. Some of the most dynamic, free-thinking, animal-killing, sexually criminal people in the country.”
“Who are you thinking about?” asked Biden.
“Well, we’ve got Elon and Matt Gaetz. That’s an alien versus predator,” said Trump, referencing his recent nominations. “Melania will be working remotely from divorce,” he added.
Sarah Sherman as Matt Gaetz took the stage, followed by Alec Baldwin as Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who took the stage to much applause. “I’m so honored to be the head of the Department of Health and Human Services. Americans need someone to teach them how to be healthy, like me, a 70-year-old man with movie star looks and a worm in his brain,” said Baldwin as RFK Jr.
“Bobby, I love ya. I can’t wait to see what you do with this country,” said Trump.
“I care deeply about a woman’s right to choose — to choose to give her child polio,” said Baldwin, in a nod to RFK’s skepticism regarding vaccinations. “Alright, I’ve gotta go, I’ve got a dead dolphin in my car,” he said. “I think I might saw it in half and dump it in Central Park.”
Pulling double duty as host and musical guest for this week’s “Saturday Night Live” is Charli XCX.