My kids listen to audiobooks while they eat breakfast and lunch. More often than not they feature superheroes, but even in the ones about Minnie Mouse or The Berenstain Bears the “bad guy” gets comeuppance. Our main characters remain steadfast in their morals and ethics, even though it’s hard, and win the day. They are rewarded for staying strong. As we know, bad guys always lose! (Wayne Campbell voice) Not!
I’m not saying anything new unless you’re a young person with a wonderfully innocent view of the world. But I was sitting here, listening to Superman triumph over Lex Luthor as my kids gleefully ate peanut butter toast topped with bananas while I was reading about a hateful walking thumb catching a break. Bad guys win all the f***ing time. Without sounding too dramatic, it’s hard to think of a time recently when good people won anything. That’s harder because a presumed instance of that was just overturned.
The satirical news company The Onion acquired Alex Jones’ Infowars empire at auction last month. It felt like a fitting end to Jones’ reign of terror. Not only would his biggest asset be taken away, but it would also be rebuilt as a comedy site to mock his insidious legacy of hatred, harassment, and bulls*** conspiracy theories. Additionally, the sale had the approval of several Connecticut families of the Sandy Hook shooting. This felt like a real victory until it didn’t.
U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Christopher Lopez blocked the sale yesterday, claiming the auction process was at fault. While The Onion offered $1.75 million for Infowars, a company affiliated with Jones offered $3.5 million. Lopez claimed that the auction process should have gone in the favor of the larger number. Even if the families approved the sale, it makes sense that, through an auction, the offer with the most money should win. That doesn’t make it sting any less.
Ben Collins, the CEO of The Onion, said of the block, “We are deeply disappointed in today’s decision, but The Onion will continue to seek a resolution that helps the Sandy Hook families receive a positive outcome from the horror they endured.” He noted that they will continue to pursue a purchase of Infowars and that could still happen. Jones said something too, but who gives a s***? The less out of him the better.
There is still hope that the company that once gave Jones a platform to spew hate and earn money will be resurrected as a way to mock him and promote gun safety. He’s a bad man and deserves to have his memory tarnished. Unfortunately, this isn’t a Justice League audiobook, so that may never happen.