Deciding to divorce usually isn’t easy, but one man has said his wife’s spending habits have left him no choice.
On Wednesday, /u/Careful_Credit_4645 took to Reddit to share his story in a post titled, “I cut my wife off from our finances because she wouldn’t stop ordering takeout.”
The 41-year-old initially shared his situation on the platform 10 days ago, but his recent update has received significantly more attention—gathering 37,000 upvotes.
The Redditor reminded users that his “unemployed wife had spent $1,176 on delivery apps in just a month,” which was out of their budget.
“She didn’t seem willing to stop,” he added. “I canceled our credit card and moved the money from our joint account into my own.”
Newsweek contacted /u/Careful_Credit_4645 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Mariia Skovpen/iStock/Getty Images Plus
He continued: “For the following few days, my wife kept talking about how I was financially abusing her. She threw several tantrums despite apparently being severely malnourished, threatened divorce, threw a bunch of the food we had in the fridge away to try and strongarm me into letting her get takeout, and even tried to guess my bank account password a bunch of times.”
He said things started to look up on October 4, as his wife stopped complaining, and he thought she had “given up.” However, he soon realized she had found a way to buy fast food, as he discovered empty containers in the bin on garbage day.
“My wife wasn’t supposed to have access to money. I had no idea how she was affording the food. I confronted her about it, and first she denied everything,” he wrote.
“I had to bring all of her fast food garbage in to get her to fess up: she had taken out a loan. Now, I thought that she had borrowed money from a friend or family member. But she had taken out one of those predatory payday loans,” the Redditor continued.
In total, his wife had borrowed $300, racking up $60 in fees—debt that he raced to the loan office to clear.
“I told her that we would be getting divorced. So yeah. My marriage is over. I don’t even know what alimony laws in my state are like, but I assume she’ll happily live in a cardboard box under a bridge if Uber Eats will bring her food there,” he concluded the post.
Contrary to the user’s experience, a YouGov survey found that married couples who share joint bank accounts tend to report higher marital satisfaction. Specifically, two in five Americans with joint accounts described themselves as “extremely happy” in their marriages.
Holly J. Moore, a divorce attorney and the CEO of Moore Family Law Group in California, spoke with Newsweek and explained that financial boundaries could be set ahead of marriage through a prenuptial agreement.
‘A Big Betrayal of Trust’
“When there is a difference in income between both partners, or when one partner is unemployed, it is very important to initially discuss boundaries and have an understanding mutually about spending habits,” Moore said.
“I am unsure if cutting the joint finances off is the best solution; he owes her a conversation about why he did it and how to best proceed with their relationship,” she added.
Moore said that the wife’s payday loan showed a lack of trust and communication.
“Because the wife’s actions are secretive, the couple should seek more than just financial advice because she is trying to hide things from her husband, which should never be the case in a relationship,” she said. “I always tell couples to strive for open communication. If this continues, there will be a snowball effect of secrets and lies for her to explain, and the situation will worsen.”
“This is a big betrayal of trust, and it is important they address the emotional and mental factors of the partnership,” Moore continued. “Therapy would do them well since their marriage is at the tipping point.”
Reddit Reacts
The post, which quickly went viral, has received more than 2,500 comments, and one user’s comment has garnered 9,700 upvotes.
“She has a serious food addiction,” it said. “It isn’t just a matter of buying take out or not being able to cook. She needs professional help. Not that it’s your responsibility.” The commenter also assured the poster that he wasn’t in the wrong for wanting a divorce.
Another commenter said: “This lady has some sort of severe eating disorder and those are so difficult to treat. At least he can stop enabling her this way.”
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.