God, I love her so much… What’s that? This is the part people can read? Shi—
Like I told the Secret Service earlier today, no, I am not the one who said MY FATHER three times causing Meghan McCain to return to the news cycle this week. I know I’m the likely suspect and it probably was me, but right hand to God, I’ve been knee-deep in packing school lunches and writing weird theories about Robert Battinson at all hours of the night.
Anyway, on the heels of Meghan’s brother Jimmy McCain endorsing Kamala Harris after being disgusted by Trump’s Arlington National Cemetery fiasco, the only View co-host to break the sound barrier inside Joy Behar’s ear canal has once again threatened to run for the office.
During the latest episode of her Citizen McCain podcast, the squawktacular result of John McCain’s baby batter revealed that she’s been asked to compete on Dancing With the Stars three times, but has refused because “I just don’t want to publicly humiliate myself.” A bold statement for someone who’s most famous for making Whoopi Goldberg roll her eyes so hard that scientists are amazed she didn’t reverse time. And for all we know, Whoopi did. Has the passage of time felt anything close to normal since 2017? I rest my case.
Via Entertainment Weekly:
McCain suggested that she was also offered a spot on Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test as well as another performance-based competition series that she couldn’t remember the title of, but reiterated her disdain at the thought of joining such a show.
“I do not do reality TV because there’s still a tiny little window in my life that I want to run for office at some point, and you can’t do both. You just can’t. It’s just not serious,” she said. “Come to me if I’m starving in the street and I’ve had some financial issues, but, I’m fine.”
Let’s be real: The almost definite reason Meghan turned down DWTS is because Bristol Palin infamously competed on the show, and frankly, I can respect that level of pettiness. Hating Sarah Palin is a topic where Meghan and I fully merge into one as it becomes impossible to tell where each of us ends and the other begins. [Dustin/Lainey, do not edit this out.]
As for running for office, lady, you took a photograph next to Tulsi Gabbard. That ship has sailed. It was gone before you even had a chance to sink it. I understand you have a family fortune, but the filthy rich are never content with their wealth, so I would start saying yes to these offers. I hear Love Island USA is neat.
There’s also the small matter of your Never Trump-ism. Unfortunately, Meghan, you fell backwards into a tiny puddle of integrity thanks to Donald Trump insulting that guy you’re always talking about: McBain. Which is funny because I also like The Simpsons. If you ever want to watch reruns… Mike, focus. You are toast with the Republican Party. I know you recently tweeted that you’re hoping for “brighter days ahead,” but that ain’t happening.
The base wants xenophobia, which you’ve got in spades and your recent dive into transphobia shows you will gladly get worse, but they also want strong-man authoritarianism, which you lack on account of not being a strong man. This may come as a shock, but you’re a girl and one who has only squeezed out two babies while voicing opinions about Trump. You’re practically Satan to these people.
The Republican Party isn’t your dad’s party anymore, and honestly, they were pretty awful back then, too. Only now, the awfulness is a feature not a bug. That said, if you keep chiseling away parts of your soul to become an even more shameless grifter like your husband, maybe there’s a chance for you in some backwater district. Christ, Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene lowered the bar somewhere beneath the earth’s mantle, but they also sucked Trump’s ass so hard that his brain only sees flashes of sharks and Hannibal Lecter. Don’t get your hopes up is the point I’m trying to make here.
(Via Entertainment Weekly)