For his first “Weekend Update” segment following Donald Trump’s victory on Tuesday, co-anchor Michael Che appeared to raid his liquor cabinet.
“How did I let y’all convince me that rural Pennsylvania would pick the Jamaican Indian lady?” Che lamented before reaching under his desk for a glass of brown liquid. “Clearly, I’ve been spending too much time around white liberals and their goofy optimism. It wasn’t even close. At one point, Trump was so far ahead, they put in Bronny,” he added, referring to NBA superstar LeBron James’ son and current teammate on the Los Angeles Lakers.
Che’s comedic partner Colin Jost got in his own jabs at the president-elect, mocking Trump’s promise of a golden age for America (“Things turn golden when the sun is setting on them”) and comparing Vice President-elect JD Vance’s experience as an adult Catholic convert to his own past as a teenage altar boy. But Che landed the night’s most provocative lines by referencing R&B star and convicted sexual abuser R. Kelly.
“Y’all gonna let a man with 34 felonies lead the free world and be the president of the United States? That’s it, I’m listening to R. Kelly again,” Che cracked, continuing to wield his drink as a prop. “I already do, but I’m gonna stop pretending I don’t. If white people can elect their felon, I can dance to mine.”
Che closed the segment’s topical portion by addressing Trump’s historic appeal among working class voters, pointing out the 10 wealthiest people on Earth quickly gained about $60 billion of wealth after the election. “Yup, the richest people immediately got richer. But don’t worry, I’m sure yours is coming soon, Earl!”