The thing about employing boxing legend Mike Tyson for ironic comedy—as many have, in the past—is that it never really compares to the stuff the man says all on his lonesome. Like, say, responding to an innocuous question from a 14-year-old interviewer about his legacy by delivering a long reminder that Tyson’s going to die, the kid’s going to die, and nothing we do in this world actually matters.
The above clip comes courtesy of Jazzy’s World, the popular social media brand that sees teen reporter Jazzy Guerra interview very famous people with a frequently disconcerting degree of chill. (As someone who occasionally interviews celebs, we will note that we have been way less calm talking to people way less famous than Jay-Z, Cardi B, Kamala Harris, and more, all of whom Guerra handles like a pro.) Even Guerra’s cheerful sangfroid seemed to meet its match, though, as Tyson embarked on the following monologue/memento mori:
[Legacy] means absolutely nothing to me. I’m just passing through. I’mma die, and it’s going to be over. Who cares about legacy after that? I’mma die, I want people to think, “I was this, I’m great…” No, we’re nothing. We’re just dead. We’re dust. We’re absolutely nothing. Our legacy is nothing. Can you really imagine someone saying, “I want my legacy to be this way”—you’re dead! Why do you wanna, do you think anyone really wants to think about you? What’s the audacity, I think, “I want people to think about me when I’m gone.” Who the fuck cares about me when I’m gone? My kids, maybe, or grandkids. Who the fuck cares?
It is, honestly, one of the most amazing comedy monologues we’ve heard delivered in some time, capped off by Guerra diplomatically thanking Tyson and noting that, “That is something I have not heard before, someone say that as an answer.” Understatement of the year.
Honestly, if the only worthwhile thing we get out of the increasingly loud screaming surrounding this stupid Mike Tyson/Jake Paul boxing match is this, the whole idiotic endeavor might genuinely have been worth it.