I first discovered Bowen Yang as a “Las Culturistas” listener and identified as a Matt Rogers sun, Bowen Yang moon. In other words, I know I’m a Matt—a.k.a. a loud, kind of bossy wearer of my heart on my sleeve—but in my heart, I’m a Bowen—kind, soft-spoken, and humbly hiding my talent.
And also super fucking good-looking.
Listen, I know. I’m not exactly Bowen’s type. But let me assure you, dear reader—he is mine. My formative crushes during my adolescence were as follows: Robin Hood the fox from the Disney Robin Hood cartoon, Spirit the stallion from the Disney Spirit: The Stallion of Cimarron cartoon, Rufio from Hook and subsequently Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender, both portrayed by Dante Basco, Bernard the Elf from The Santa Claus, and The Magical Mr. Mistoffelees from the original London production of CATS because my parents had a VHS of it for some reason. Brimming with traditional masculinity, these characters are not, but in possession of a certain je ne sais quoi, they are indeed. Whatever that certain something is, Bowen has it.
2024 has been a big year for Bowen: his roles on SNL received critical acclaim and he had a supporting role in Wicked, arguably the biggest movie of the year. Allow me a brief interlude to astonish you with some of the looks he bestowed upon us in promotion of these titles and his other various accomplishments, such as this classic tux moment at the “Las Culturistas” Culture Awards with Matt…
…or this cherry red bejeweled blouse paired with an impeccable white suit for the Emmys…
…or this off-duty businessman moment for FLAUNT magazine…
…and then whatever this is for them magazine…
…and of course everything happening in this photoshoot for The New Yorker.
There’s also something about whenever he talks to anyone where it feels like he’s flirting, and I want him to flirt with me. Like the way he describes the way various hot sauces taste in this episode of Hot Ones:
And why am I kind of attracted to his version of Joe Exotic? Because I’m attracted to Bowen, that’s why.
Obviously Bowen is fucking funny and talented as hell, but there’s something about a person who isn’t held back by gender and gender expression, who can rock a tux and a slutty heel, that makes them, simply, super hot. I don’t know if I want to be with him or be him, but either way, I celebrate him.