21. Scented Candle
Scented candles are a scam. The only thing they smell of is hot candle (and yes, that would be a good name for a band). This one looks like it’s been already been regifted and its origin story involves a tombola table at a primary school fete. Leave well alone.
20. Eau de Cologne
It’s fun isn’t it, joking with Richard Osman about being squirted with his musk and having him sprayed all over you? No, it isn’t. It’s inappropriate, this is a teatime show, and Anneka Rice should be ashamed of herself.
19. Pasta Maker
Alright, Mrs Beeton, you do know that pasta comes ready-made from the shops. Do you hand-craft your Weetabix of a morning? Of course you don’t. Have a word with yourself and save your cleaner the additional dusting.
18. Pillow and Duvet Set
The drummer from Busted wants to put it in his guest room. Sports presenter Gabby Logan plans to surprise the mother-in-law when she comes to stay for Christmas. Grow up, the pair of you. You may use this to cover the backseat of the car during dog-transportation, and you may offer your visitors the respect they deserve along with an Egyptian Cotton neutral.
18. Driving Gloves
Do you know who wears leather gloves? Anonymous stranglers in the cold opens of ITV murder mysteries. Got something to confess, stand-up who was nominated for the Perrier Comedy Award back when it was still called the Perrier Comedy Award? Thought not.
16. Richard Osman Action Figure
Now we’re getting somewhere. A Richard Osman action figure has practical application, in that you can use it to stage your own Adam and Joe-style House of Games episode including your daughter’s Bratz doll (Cheryl Cole), a GI Joe (someone from Gladiators), a crocheted toilet roll cover lady (Su Pollard) and a sock stuffed with another sock (the stand-up in chair four).