Last week, a surprising thing happened: I lamented the state of Skeleton Crew after a particularly bland Episode 4, and the commenters actually agreed with me? Usually, everyone tells me I’m being way too hard on this show, but apparently, the weird French girl doing space parkour was a bridge too far. Even our most generous readers were baffled.
I also asked for input on how kids are interacting with Skeleton Crew: Do they like it? Do they think it’s just OK? Are they even watching it? Based on the exactly two responses I received — Thank you, Matthew and ASterisk! — I’m starting to really think this show is dying on the vine. There have been no headlines touting its viewership numbers, which is probably not a great sign. Can Skeleton Crew turn things around in the back half? Well, giving Jude Law a lightsaber certainly couldn’t hurt.
Episode 5 picks up with the kids back on their ship with a fully restrained and deactivated SM-33, who they now know has information about their planet At Attin. Turns out, the droid served under the infamous pirate captain Tak Rennod. (Do I need to point out the backwards spelling?) While the kids have no clue who that is, Jod immediately clocks the name and realizes that their ship is the Onyx Cinder. Does that mean anything except to sell Lego sets? Sure doesn’t.
Because each episode is one fetch quest after another, the kids learn from SM-33 that Rennod has the coordinates to At Attin hidden in his lair at Skull Ridge Mountain. However, after prepping everyone for a journey to a brutal pirate planet, our team arrives to a luxury day spa instead. Much to SM-33’s horror, Skull Ridge Mountain is no longer a cutthroat hive of scum and villainy. There are a few bounty hunters in the mix though, and one that Jod apparently slept with then never called. That would be Pokkit, and if she sounds very familiar, she’s played by Kelly Macdonald who voiced Merida in Disney’s Brave. Does she instantly sell out Jod and the kids? You bet.
Long story short, Tak Rennod’s lair is hidden under the day spa, which results in wacky Goonies-style hijinks including Jod’s old pirate crew hot on their tails thanks to Pokkit. (Have I mentioned Urkel is randomly part of that crew? Urkel is randomly part of that crew.) Naturally, the kids and Jod make it to the lair where some interesting developments happen.
In the mystery department, a hologram of Tak Rennod conveniently obscures his face. What the hell does that mean? Second, he reveals why At Attin is the planet of “eternal treasure.” It was a mint for the Old Republic. That would explain why the kids literally have gold coins falling out of their pants. Third, we’ve got a lightsaber in the mix after Wim finds one just laying around Tak’s lair. And, finally, here comes the double cross everyone expected.
Jod invokes the pirate code and challenges Fern to combat. Even though she’s technically the captain, SM-33 is bound by the code not to intervene. Jod tells her just to yield because he doesn’t want to hurt her, and he genuinely means it. She does not, and he eventually holds a knife to her throat while pleading with her to just say yield. Enter Wim, who looks like he’s about to have his Jedi moment with the aforementioned lightsaber. Except, nope, he’s holding it upside down and almost chops off his own foot before dropping the thing as it rockets across the floor.
After that incredible display, Fern yields, and Jod commands SM-33 to secure the children back on the ship, but the droid is too slow. They escape through a booby trip because Wim just cannot stop pressing buttons. What if there were spikes down there, you little idiot? No matter. Jod does a Force grab on the saber and fires it up as we fade to black.
If this episode emphasized anything, it’s that without Jude Law’s charisma, Skeleton Crew would be dead in the water. And to be honest, I’m not even sure it’s alive. It’s still mind-numbing, predictable fluff. Regardless, Jod continues to be the most interesting thing about the show, and two things stood out:
1. When he tries to help a homesick Wim, Jod offers some advice that he genuinely thinks is helping: Just forget about your family and your home. They’re attachments and attachments are bad. That’s some old school Jedi business, which adds to the theories that Jod was a padawan who survived Order 66.
2. I guess the big question is whether Jod is Tak Rennod. This episode revealed yet another one of his aliases, Dash Zentin, in case we all forgot that Jod is a slippery fellow when it comes to his true identity. Also, a lightsaber just happened to be in Tak’s lair, so the signs are there.
Does any of that make Skeleton Crew more watchable? — I guess? Like Episode 3, Jude Law did a lot of heavy lifting, but again, so much of this show is just shamelessly spamming nostalgia. This episode even threw in the Indiana Jones punch sound. We’re at Family Guy levels of “Hey, remember the ’80s?” which is really freaking weird in a Star Wars.