What a time this post-election purgatory is as we dread the approaching inauguration of a fascist who will antagonize our marginalized and vulnerable populations with renewed vigor. It’s a hard reality to face, let alone accept, but accept it we must. It will take time to process and it won’t be easy, fun, or comfortable. In this time as the dust settles and we figure out what the hell to do now, it’s tempting to find satisfying answers for how this all happened. The blame is already flying fast and loose. As the great Emily Heller said, this kind of rushed resolution will do us no favors, so it might be a good idea to take a beat.
One of the worst and most groan-inducing takes I’ve seen floated thus far is the idea that Democrats need their own Joe Rogan, an idea that makes me roll my eyes so hard they pop out and roll down the hallway. I understand the sentiment this take (probably) comes from: Rogan’s podcast has eroded critical thinking and stoked intense bigotry and ignorance in its very large audience for a long time and it almost certainly contributed to another Trump victory; it makes some amount of sense that Democrats would want that kind of reach and clout. But what makes Rogan attractive to his audience is how he tells them exactly what they want to hear. People tune in to watch the stoned meatball platform a thoroughly debunked bigot and have all their preconceived notions confirmed. Do you hate queer and trans people? Rogan’s for you; he’ll let Jordan Peterson weep about the tyranny of calling someone by a new name for as long as you want. Do you have conspiracy-minded suspicions about modern medicine? Awesome, Rogan loves ivermectin, a medical paste for horses that he seems to think will really “stick it to the libs” but is actually just kinda gross. Do you like free-thinkers who recycle regressive ideas about race, gender, and society, but dress them up in a way that makes you feel like a smart edgelord? Rogan free-thinks his way into nonsense bullshit every episode! The point is, Rogan is a garbage figure spewing garbage and though that probably helped a fascist get elected, I’m not so sure it’s a method the Democrats should try themselves.
Democrats should not be looking for a “lefty Joe Rogan.” Just like the left doesn’t need its own Elon Musk, Democrats don’t need some loony moron vomiting misinformation all over the place. To replicate Rogan would be to give yet more validation from a society that has way, waaaaaaay over-validated him. That said, I’m nothing if not curious about what a “lefty Joe Rogan” would be. What would their podcast be? What would they talk about? As a silly person with a Canva account, I decided to figure this out the only way a dum-dum idea like this deserves: as a name-generator meme. Please see below, for your edification, the Lefty Joe Rogan Name Generator:
According to this highly accurate and scientific meme, I’m Gessica Jones, host of Converting Conservatives, and the issue I care most about is making the frogs even gayer than before. What did you get? Feel free to share!