The seven key issues Maguire must address to fix infantile Broncos 

After stints at the Tigers and the Blues, Michael Maguire knows a thing or two about working in manic crèches.

But nothing he experienced at these two asylums will compare to the adolescent delinquency awaiting him at the Broncos.

Maguire may be a hard-arsed Mary Poppins who whips poor attitudes in to shape, but right now Brisbane needs more than a spoonful of sugar and an early bedtime.

With blokes running amok offshore and strutting around town like horny peacocks, can he transform Queensland’s flagship club from offenders on benders to title contenders in September?

Here’s seven issues he must tackle if he wants to quell this unbridled zoo.

Get Ezra Mam sorted out

As it stands, there is only one guarantee from the Mam situation.

If Maguire’s pre-season training was already bound to be ferocious, now it will be something that makes the Seventh Circle of Hell feel like a Swedish massage.

But what about Mam himself?

Precedence indicates that such a serious allegation would usually lead to a club cutting ties with the player, but it’s never that straightforward.

As we know, many legal sensitivities need to be allayed before a footballer can be unceremoniously sacked.

The club’s legal team needs to consider statutes, clauses, whether he’s any good at footy, and if they could handle him signing with the Roosters 48 hours later on a bargain wage.

But whatever Mam’s fate, Maguire needs it resolved ASAP so he better start riding Dave Donaghy and the Queensland police like a pedalo.

Get Reynolds firing and/or reverse the ageing process

The former Rabbitoh was once the most misdiagnosed injury-prone player in footy, but only before he validated the myth by degrading to moist styrofoam.

Despite his injury-interrupted 2024, it’s undeniable Reynolds was a primary factor in the club’s resurgence last year, and that the team has gone rattier than ever in his absence this season.

Maguire needs to get his halfback healthy and back on the park permanently, because lord knows replacement halfbacks are thinner in numbers than the lonely wisps atop the coach’s chrome dome.

After all, highly touted rookie Coby Black is still a few years off, and following his renewed commitment to the Roosters, it’ll be another two seasons at least before the club gets another crack at Sam Walker.

This leaves the only plausible option of recalling Alfie Langer, switching him from the trainer’s shirt to play in the No.7 jersey but the reasons are obvious why Maguire couldn’t do this.

(Because it would please Gorden Tallis).

Maximise Reece Walsh

Walsh is a dynamo so gifted that when he was born, every kid in a 50-mile radius lost all their talents.

Sadly, all those kids now play first grade for the Broncos too, and that’s why Maguire needs more wizardry than ever from his fullback to bridge the abject gulf in ability.

While hardly an enfant terrible, Walsh’s off-field antics have eclipsed his on-field accomplishments in recent times so much that the Dally M votes he was once earning are now being awarded to Dave Donaghy.

As such, Maguire will need to manage his precocious talent with all the clinical delicacy of extracting a wedgie through a keyhole.

Basically, the coach just needs to strike a balance where Walsh is free to express himself while adhering to the game plan and treated like an adult provided he’s offline and in bed before 8pm.

Silence the Old Boys

Such is their influence, the Broncos can’t run a block play on the fourth tackle without the express written consent of the old boys.

Why else do you think Alf was on the field 98% of the game?

Maguire has a gargantuan task ahead in soothing this cartel of surly company retirees, especially a bloke like Tallis who boasts more time on-air than Eddie McGuire.

The only way the new coach can keep them quiet is by winning, or by living in a nuclear bunker with his phone permanently on airplane mode.

Use Payne Haas’ class more effectively

The powerhouse prop’s 2024 was a thankless slog as he battled a foot injury and another standard 12 months of persistent newspaper prattle.

This included ongoing rumours of his imminent departure and his family delivering more whacky dysfunction than the Griswold and Jackson families combined.

Nevertheless, none of this has diminished his standing as one the game’s elite big men, but much like Walsh, Maguire needs to somehow boost his 120% effectiveness to 150%.

This could be achieved by utilising the prop more as a wrecking ball than a draught horse, which is easier said than done if he’s still carrying side-saddles full of lazy teammates.

Convince the fans

Maguire needs to win the approval of the club’s fans, and despite sacking Langer, pissing off Tallis and Shane Webcke, and indirectly undermining Kevin Walters, he’s already made a decent start.

Before a ball has even been kicked, Broncos supporters are enthused by the mere notion of a paradigm shift away from the Walters era, if only because the press conferences will mercifully return to being delivered in plain English.

However, it’s inescapable that at his core, Maguire is an insurgent New South Welshman behind enemy lines who only months earlier engineered one of the the Sunshine State’s most shameful collapses – all on their own hallowed turf.

Can the faithful truly embrace a man who stared down Queensland fundamentalism to be the first NSW Blue in years to return from a Brisbane decider with something other than a dodgy rash?

Forget Mam and the Old Boys, gaining the approval of a city full of one-eyed extremists like Queenslanders will be Maguire’s Everest.

Why?

Because his state-based allegiance will be the first thing raised at any sign of tumult, and anything short of glory will ensure he’s ranked alongside Ivan Henjak and the aqua jersey as the club’s latest failed dalliance with the colour blue.