Sibling rivalry doesn’t always end in childhood.
This was clear in a post to Reddit’s “Am I The A******?” forum from u/ouiouiausten, in which a woman sparked discussion after sharing her plan to announce her pregnancy in a “petty” way to her family, seemingly as revenge on her older sister. The post has gone viral with 13,000 upvotes and comments from people who applauded her approach to handling a sibling rivalry that has lasted for years.
“My older sister Tiffany…has an issue with needing attention and one-upping me and my other sister Chloe,” the original poster (OP) wrote. “Ever since we were kids, if we had something big happen or won any type of award, Tiffany would inject herself and try to pull attention away.”
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The OP wrote that Tiffany’s behavior has been a recurring issue since childhood and into adulthood. From trying to plan her wedding on the same day as the OP’s college graduation, to attempting to ban Chloe’s then-boyfriend from her wedding, the OP described Tiffany’s track record of spotlight-seeking.
The latest incident occurred when Chloe shared the news of her new dog, Bess, in the family group chat: “We are excited to announce a new member of our family! Meet Bess!”
Within an hour, Tiffany responded with her own announcement: “Well, congrats on the new dog. Speaking of new additions…Baby T is due this November!”
The presumed attempt to shift the attention back to Tiffany left Chloe and the OP upset. But now, the OP has the chance to turn the tables.
She recently discovered that she’s pregnant with her first child and is thinking about announcing the news in the family group chat using Tiffany’s exact words.
“Well, congrats on the new baby. Speaking of new additions… Baby M is due this January!” she said she wanted to write.
In the post, the OP acknowledged that the move would be “petty,” but she feels it might be justified given her sister’s history.
Reddit users were quick to rally behind the OP. One person suggested an even more creative twist: “I would send a picture of your other sister’s dog holding an ultrasound saying, ‘I have a cousin on the way…’ but that’s just my level of petty.”
Another commenter gave her endorsement: “Please, please, OP, do this. For one, it would be cute…and for another, I’ll bet I’ll hear your sister scream from where I live. Seriously though, she’s an adult and shouldn’t be allowed to dictate that someone else’s good news needs to be kept secret.”
‘Consider the Long-Term Impact’
The situation has prompted deeper reflections on the family dynamics at play.
Suzanne Mungalez, a perinatal psychologist at The MaMA Space, told Newsweek about her perspective on the situation, and what she believes is the best course of action for the OP.
“It is so difficult to see things clearly when our judgment is clouded by another person’s need for attention or validation,” Mungalez said. “Responding in a way that would purposely agitate the oldest sibling actually works to perpetuate the dynamic.”
She encouraged the OP to consider the long-term impact of her actions, particularly if she wants to maintain or repair her relationship with Tiffany. Instead of seeking revenge, Mungalez recommended “calling in” Tiffany for a conversation to better understand her perspective while also expressing her own feelings of hurt.
Mungalez suggested that the OP use this moment to establish healthy boundaries: “As hard as it may be, this is an excellent opportunity to practice and model the healthy boundaries that will become necessary throughout the remainder of pregnancy, birth, postpartum and parenting,” she said. “A gentle boundary might be, ‘I know this might be hard for you, but this is very exciting for me…if this doesn’t feel mutually supportive, I may need to step back from this relationship throughout my pregnancy.'”
Whether the OP chooses the “petty” route or a more diplomatic approach, the sentiment among commenters is clear: many encourage her to celebrate her pregnancy in whatever way feels right to her—regardless of her sister’s reaction.
Newsweek reached out to u/ouiouiausten for comment via Reddit.