Woman Shocked by Internet’s Response to What Husband Does While She’s Out

A woman has gone viral for showcasing the work her husband did in the home while she was at work, and told Newsweek she “didn’t make the video to praise my husband,” but to show other women where the bar should be set.

Abby Eckel lives in Kansas with her husband and children, and recently went viral on TikTok when she showed how her husband had deep-cleaned the house and put up the remaining Christmas decorations while she was out.

In the clip, shared to her account @abbyeckel on November 4 with over 7.5 million views and 1.2 million likes, she said it illustrated “what it looks like to be married to a competent and capable man.”

She explained she arrived home to find the entire house had been cleaned, candles had been lit, Christmas decorations had been put up “adorably,” and he had bought and put up new Christmas decorations for the children’s rooms.

“I also didn’t ask him to do any of this,” she said. “I didn’t make him a list of things to do.

“I simply went to work, I came home, and my husband had acted like a completely competent and capable adult, who … takes care of his house, who cares about how it looks, and like to also equitably participate in making Christmas magical for our family.”

She told Newsweek her husband has “always been an active participant in our home and with our children,” but added: “Unfortunately, this isn’t the norm. Most women are carrying a disproportionate amount of the domestic labor and child care, as well as being the magic makers during holiday season,” which can be “incredibly exhausting.”

While both Eckel and her husband work, some parents stay at home to look after the home or kids without pay, for personal or economic reasons. According to a publication by Pew Research, in 2021, 26 percent of mothers stayed at home, while 7 percent of fathers did so—a rise from 4 percent in 1989.

Eckel said she and her husband are “a team,” and will step up to get something done if they see it needs doing, without needing to be told. “I didn’t make the video to praise my husband, although I did thank him,” she said, adding that if she does something similar, he thanks her, too.

“But, so often, women—both married and single—have not seen that example, a truly egalitarian marriage,” she went on. “One with a secure man who doesn’t think that caring for the home and children is ‘women’s work.'”

This was visible in the comments, as one commenter wrote: “Honestly, this is astounding to me. I’ve never seen a man do this before in my real life.”

“I’m tired of in laws leaving their sons for us to raise. I can’t picture my current bf ever doing this, should I just dip now or…” one said.

And one man commented: “I am not that guy, I want to be that guy, thanks for posting inspiration instead of hate/belittling I’m still trying.”

Eckel told Newsweek: “I share the things my husband does sometimes not to pat him on the back or praise him, but to show women where the bar should be. That they can and should be expecting more from their male partners.”

She explained they have two young sons who they are raising to “understand there aren’t gendered roles in a home or the world.”

“They see their dad cook, they see him clean, they see him attend school parties and bring fun games, take them to doctors appointments, take them on solo trips without me—do everything that I do.”

She said some men commenting on her video on TikTok and Instagram “attempted to make it a gendered issue,” calling it “unfortunate.”

“Some insecure men are too afraid to be seen by their fellow men as ‘feminine’ because they take pride in their home, take genuine interest in their wife and kids, and want to be as involved as their wife and mother of their children,” she said.